Wisdom Teeth

Yesterday we lost an exceptional resident at the long term care home. Now, don’t get me wrong, each and every resident has a special place in my heart, but somedays we say goodbye to residents when we are just not yet ready to let go. We are “trained” to deal with losses in long term care, but at the end of the day we are all human and the residents impact our lives probably more than we impact their’s. It is one aspect of the job that never gets any easier, but I believe that laughter is truly the best tasting medicine, which is the whole purpose behind this outrageous blog. So on a happier note, let’s discuss dentists…

I’ve spent more time in dentists’ and orthodontists’  chairs (which now massage your back). When I was knee high to a grasshopper in elementary school, I had a metal retainer moulded to the bottom of my mouth. Since puberty isn’t embarrassing enough, in grade 7, I had shiny silver braces…none of these “invisible” braces.  Those braces straightened my teeth for two and a half years  and when I had them removed – which was a pleasant experience, they placed a small bar in the bottom of my mouth.. you know, just in case those inexpensive braces didn’t do the trick. To this day, I still have that bar in my mouth. 

With all of the quality time I’ve spent under the bright light, you would think I enjoy attending the dentist… well think again. I enjoy it less now than I did growing up. From the moment you sit down and put the stylish sunglasses on, they are scraping away at your teeth, poking fun at your gums and simply judging you. 

My personal favourite is when they try to have a heart to heart with you while their entire hand is wedged into your mouth.  If they find it necessary to talk my ear off, they should only ask yes or no questions or wait until their hand is removed from my mouth, the vacuum is set aside and the gauze soaked up all it can before beginning a conversation. I would rather they didn’t prolong the experience by chatting and simply give me heck for not flossing enough and I’ll be on my way. 

With all of the hassle I’ve been through, I hope I never have to wear dentures. These puppies better accompany me to my grave. 

One morning during my student internship, a ‘code yellow’ blasted over the intercom smack dab in the middle of my word game program. (Code yellow is a missing person’s alert). When announcing a code, one must repeat the code three times so everyone has the opportunity to hear.  The first time the name was announced I thought to myself, I must have heard that wrong and then it was repeated for the second time and I slowly set down the whiteboard marker. The third time I knew I could no longer be in denial. I sheepishly turned around from the board and made direct eye contact with the “missing” resident. He returned my look of horror with a toothless grin. 

I immediately began to panic and the resident said, “Oops, I forgot my denture doctor was coming today! They must be looking for me.”

I replied, “well they practically have a search warrant out for you!”

I handled the situation as anyone would – calm, cool and collected… I frantically ran down the hallways screaming “I HAVE THE RESIDENT; I HAVE THE RESIDENT!”

An unflustered health care aide approached me, placed her hand on my shoulder and stated, “dear, just bring him back to his room.”

That definitely would have been the logical way to handle the situation, but thank goodness I was a student and students are supposed to make mistakes in order to learn from them… 

He was returned to his dentures doctor and I assured extra caution the next time I took him to a program.