Sweating like a Pig or a Pig in Sweats

First year University and College students are informed about the “Freshman 15”. How come first year pandemic civilians weren’t told about the “Pandemic 15”? On a daily basis politicians share social and economic restrictions, but I’m more interested in strategies to help with my clothing restrictions…

As people moved from the office to the couch, dining out to dining in and basic internet plans to advanced, the pounds increased and the clothing sales decreased.

In April 2020, clothing sales fell 79 percent in the U.S., which is the largest decrease on record. While purchases of sweatpants went up 80 percent.

With these changes, fashion designers have expressed concern for the future of fashion. I foresee the next New York Fashion Week being held in the models’ homes, walking the hallways… in sweats.

I wonder if this means there are clothes hanging in warehouses all over the country that are going out of style quicker than Ham’s clothes on The Sandlot? I’ll gladly take these off their hands.

Clothing sales have plummeted even though the malls remained open. While people’s fitness journeys have been interrupted as gyms opened and then closed again. 

For many, ‘Hot Girl Summer’ will look different this year –  no doubt they’ll be hot, they’ll be wearing sweats.  

While the fashion industry and the inches on my waist are shifting, it seems so is my hearing… 

In Care-ousel I ripped my pants. Today, I talked about my pants when it was not necessary.  

I was finishing off the work week in my co-worker’s office when a frequent visitor approached the door. He asked what my weekend plans were and what I planned to cook for dinner. Two dreaded questions since these days my weekends are quiet and my meals are dependent on how quickly they can be delivered. 

I was honest and informed him of my nonexistent weekend plans and my various take out menus since I wasn’t a very good cook, but quickly added that was my only flaw.

For his next burning question I heard, “what will you be wearing?”

With complete seriousness I replied, “probably what I have on now. Actually, no, sweats sound more appealing.”

“He asked what you’ll be ordering,” my co-worker clarified. 

Now, that question makes much more sense and is less concerning. However, I am well aware that I openly discussed my Friday attire with a resident without hesitation.

We may be able to cover our stomachs by hiking up our sweat pants, but I was not able to cover up this conversation.