E-normous Confusion

Today’s post briefly touches on a massage experience and if you’ve been keeping up with the current celebrity news, I could easily begin this with a baby oil joke. But I won’t. 

There are so many benefits to receiving a massage: lowers stress levels, improves mood, decreases anxiety, improves the immune system, decreases pain, improves digestion and it simply feels nice (most times). 

Oddly enough, there’s nothing more relaxing than having your face down in a hole while someone silently touches you. 

Therefore, I schedule routine massages but my most recent massage rubbed me the wrong way.

It started off positive when the receptionist guided me to the room 10 minutes prior to my appointment time so I could leisurely undress. This was so much more enjoyable than when the massage therapist says, “you get undressed and I’ll be right back.”

What is ‘right back’? 1 minute? 3 minutes? 5 minutes? My confusion stems from being a child when ‘just a minute’ was in fact not a minute.

Because of the unknown time slot, you race to remove your clothes, hide your bra and miss a sock to be comfortably under the blanket and out of breath by the time they return. 

But in this particular scenario, I was under the covers, falling into a relaxed state listening to the overhead music by the time her loud knock brought me back to reality. As she entered she informed me that my regular MT, Jazz, had to go home early so she was her replacement. I have to admit I was was not super jazzed about this last minute information. 

As soon as she began, the pressure was too painful for me so I informed her of such to which she replied, “no. It’s good.”

She said it with such confidence that I thought, maybe it is good?

As the massage carried on, instead of deep tissue, I needed a tissue. 

I was wheezing, groaning and even had to pull away from her a few times, but instead of softening the pressure she stated, “you are tense.”

Well you are kneading me like I’m bread dough.

To add insult to actual injury, she karate chopped me like she had her black belt. But that wasn’t all. She then manipulated my body into positions it’s never been before and whispered, “flexible.”

Am I? Or are you giving my limbs no choice?

I wondered if there had been some confusion and I was receiving a Thai massage rather than therapeutic but she squashed that theory along with the bones in my hand.

In conclusion, this agonizing experience did not help me but I’ve often been told typing on a computer on a regular basis can be the reason for my tight, sore muscles. I can also tell you that typing an email with the incorrect client info can also be the reason for my tight, sore muscles…

In Caller IDiot, I didn’t know who I was talking to on the phone. Today, I didn’t know who I was emailing about.

Emails being one of the main forms of communication in the workplace is interesting to me because everyone has their own ideas of the purpose of an email. Should they be a quick or long note? Professional, playful or a combination? An immediate reply or a 3 day grace period? 

It seems everyone has their own expectations but one universal email expectation is that you actually read it.

The other day I received an email from a physician inquiring about a resident’s recreation therapy progress. This is not an usual occurrence so I broke my one rule and responded immediately. 

I wrote a 350 word (that just gave me University flashbacks and not the fun kind) summary about the client and sent it back to the doctor, nurse team lead and floor manager.  

The physician’s reply was kind but confused. 

She said she was not questioning my abilities but she was however, questioning if we were discussing the same client. 

I looked back at the original email and realized I skipped over the subject line which clearly indicated the client’s initials and instead guessed who she was referring to based on a few sentences in the body of the email.

She was asking about a resident who has a communication barrier and uses a wheelchair related to a brain injury. While I was referring to a client who is conversational and ambulatory with a diagnosis of Parkinson’s.

You can imagine her confusion since I made myself sound like Jesus.

Thankfully, the client I wrote about is also the physician and nurse team lead’s client so I didn’t break confidentiality but I did break my ego as I replied with an apology and the correct information.

I worry I’ve ruined future inquiries from the doctor regarding my involvement but I’ll take that pain over an excruciating massage any time.