Are You Afraid of Affection?
Common dates where people cuddle: bonfire, fireworks, star gazing, movie theatres and in the comfort of their own home. See a pattern? They are all in the dark, which indicates others don’t want to see you cuddle…
A couple of weeks ago I attended a Sherlock Holmes play. (He was no Robert Dreamy Jr., but he made the cut). We were sitting at the very back of the theatre, like the cool kids on the back of the bus and there was a cute couple sitting in front of us – or should I say a canoodling couple sitting in front of us.
It’s as though they were playing the classic Operation board game except they were trying to see how many parts of the body they could touch.
He would have his arm around her and then she would place her arm around him. He would touch her nose and she would touch his (bald) head. Together they would hold hands, kiss on the lips, cheeks and forehead, pet each other, rub backs, stroke legs and whisper into each other’s ears. I was tempted to tap him on the shoulder to add in some confusion.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love, love, but I feel I understood that couple’s love life better than I understood the plot of the play.
This was not the first time I was distracted in a theatre…
In What’s Old Got To Do With It, I witnessed a resident’s eyes light up. Today, I was shutting my own eyes.
When I worked as a Companion, I participated in community recreation with individuals who needed a little assistance and guidance. One of my clients would only go to the movies, which sounded great until I found out that she was only interested in scary movies.
One night we sat down in the theatre to see “The Witch.” I had watched the trailer beforehand and was already dreading the next hour and a half of my life.
This movie was about as terrible and creative as the title. Not to mention gory and plain weird.
I tried not to make it obvious that I was uncomfortable so I began counting how many confetti-like spots there were on the rows of seats ahead of us.
The only two times I looked up at the screen was when a baby was possessed and at the very end when all of the naked witches were floating into the sky (I can’t make this stuff up).
As we were leaving the theatre the client asked me what my favourite part of the movie was. I was honest and replied, “the end.” She stated she thought it was a happy ending as well… not exactly what I was going for.
Throughout my time with her, the scary movies continued and I can confidently tell you that there are at least 176 confetti-like spots on the back of the theatre chairs.
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